Wandering Through the Rainforest, Trying to Describe the Exotic Trees

Making a home in a true community is rare. You’d have an easier time finding the perfect pair of jeans, I think.

It’s sad that people could go their entire lives without even seeing it – let alone living amongst it, but I am one of the lucky ones.

Walking in to church at Jacob’s Well feels like coming home. I wave at new aunts and uncles and cousins and linger to chat after church. With each interaction, I sigh and my roots stretch out across the sanctuary. Tim preaches an amazing sermon and my brain buzzes, stimulated with nourishment. Mike and the band rock out and my heart softens, its budding little blossoms opening to see the heavens.

It feels beautiful to grow. I’m reminded that when something feels good, that’s usually the perfect time to stop and look around a bit. It might not last too much longer, and I like to swim about in happiness while it’s around.

I found myself coming back to JW because of our head pastor Tim Keel. His sermons blow my mind and I’d never seen a pastor like him. He puts a podium down by the second row and walks the aisles asking questions. He’s self-effacing and unafraid to mix faith traditions. The church’s voice matched mine - a messy little lump of history, somehow perfect in its summation.

Especially around the holidays, I really appreciate the way he meshes the mysticism and beauty of past church traditions (like the observations of lent and advent) with this modern thing that we’re all trying to live out.

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Teaching and community aside, over the last few months it’s been something else that’s been zinging me between the eyes each Sunday. The worship has developed and is straight up AMAZING.

For those of you that go, you know that Mike Crawford and the band are fantastic musicians (which doesn’t hurt), but it’s something beyond that. Trying to see what that “something” could be, I started to think about all the elements that make up the church worship: 1) Musicians. 2) A leader. 3) Lyrics designed to inspire and create connection with God. 4) The congregation interacts.

Well…Check.Check.Check.Check. All of it is done really well and has been for the duration of my attendance. So, if the change isn’t outside, could it be…inside of me?

For a while, I’ve wondered if worship is really for God’s benefit or for ours. I’m sure that theologians have debated and opined about this for centuries, but it’s the first time I ever wondered about it.

Mostly because every church integrates it into their services, I always assumed that God wants worship from us – much like he desires prayer and fasting and charity and all that other stuff. Because of the emphasis scripturally (pick just about any psalm) and from overeager worship band leaders (“Sing louder – God wants to HEAR you!”), I guess I figured God NEEDED our worship.

Let me be clear: I get the biblical underpinnings of this, but I’m finding from my own experiences that I need to worship God a whole lot more than He needs to hear it.

Think about it – God doesn’t NEED us to tell Him how cool He is. I’m sure it makes Him gush with pride to hear us say it, like any father would be, but let’s get real: He made all this stuff. He knows who He is. He isn’t any more Godly than usual just because we tell Him so.

But we as broken human beings NEED to tell Him in the same way we need to pray, confess and practice charity. It humbles us. It transcends our daily routine and puts our hearts and minds in a place where they can be broken and rebuilt. They can be reached by something abstract and otherworldly. Our hearts are softened by music.

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Music is something we understand and yet are completely baffled by.

Try and explain your favorite album. You’ll putter around for a while on the technical merits and lyrics, but it really comes down to this: the cosmic and beautiful meshing of all these elements just reaches you.

Maybe you know why, maybe you don’t. For me it’s the last two minutes of Death Cab for Cutie’s song Translanticism where the rhythm drives forward like a train getting closer. It’s the part in U2’s With or Without You when Bono starts wailing “Ho-o-o-o. Ho-o-o-o-o, Ho-o-o-o…o-o.” It’s the worship lyric, “You love me as I am, even when I cannot stand. You whisper in my ear all the things I need to hear from you.”

In these moments that only I will ever know and comprehend, I find, taste, see and worship God. I’ve known him on my stereo for years, but my heart has found a new venue to check out. And as the hymn goes, “It Is Well With My Soul…”

Tonight’s Soundtrack: One Place – Everything But The Girl - Acoustic