Napendwa

In kiswahili Napendwa means "Am loved." Although I've thought I got it, I've never understood the true meaning of this.

In the Psalms, you'll frequently find a term called selah - its interpretation is understood as "a holy pause." It also is associated with the inability to speak.

Tonight, I am completely without words, and completely blessed. I am content, and bathing in the beauty that is my life. Thank you to you all. You are my song. You are my life. You are my reason for being here, and YOU are my string. I can think of no other way to wrap it up.

So...I leave you all with my journal's thanks from this morning, before I was without words.

1. The proverbs sermon from Tim Keel at Jacob's Well last week
2. Proverbs 10. Recognize.
3. A meeting with The Bohemians that bore so much fruit
4. A BEAUTIFUL Saturday night in Lawrence
5. An impromptu birthday wish from the Heartland Assist team on Saturday morning
6. Bagel birthday wishes from Marcia Merrick
7. $1 for Kenya from Bill Howe
8. The money for Kenya has been flowing in...I believe you now, ok?!?!?!?!!!!
9. Friday night with Cass was a study in beauty. The Bristol, the Symphony, M&S Grill...all of it.
10. My boss' beautiful comments on Friday, as well as the wisdom she imparted. I am blessed by her. Virginia - I TREASURE you.
11. Last night's Jacob's Well experience, and a great conversation with a new friend
12. Craig's encouragement...he is so amazingly supportive
13. God's AMAZING providence and serendipity
14. David Crowder, Jimmy John's and 65+ degree weather yesterday at Loose Park!
15. This gift of wisdom. I cannot fully understand or wrap my arms around it, but He allows us to learn the vastness of His mystery in a way we can comprehend.
16. MY FAVORITE NUMBER!!! Happy 25th to me!!!!
17. The gifts of my person that have come alive under my surrender to God.
18. Sharpies, LORD - how I LOOOOVE those things.
19. Small blessings...see above :)
20. Big miracles. When I let God in, He delivers so incredibly.
21. My ability to TOTALLY f* up a birthday celebration by trying to plan it myself.
22. Kelli. I heart you. For now, and forever, you have known me better than I've known myself. I am lucky and blessed to know you....and to spoil your surprises so SPECTACULARLY.
23. Cass...the depth is unfathomable. I hope we travel through the quicksand forever from now until the end of time. Heaven will be a sweet place with you next to me.
24. My family. More than a mere X & Y...I can't even begin to explain. Mommy - you are so beautiful, and I'm lucky to have even a shred of your loveliness and compassion. Daey - your wisdom is my heart's siren song...I cannot forget it. You are my standard, and I am not ashamed by that. Adam - if I can know what TRUE generosity is, I will learn it from you. You will find the way spreading out before you, and you deserve all it extends.

25. My God. For every year I've been here, your providence has afforded me the luckiest of circumstances, and endless blessings. Words cannot do you justice, and my life is my meager sacrifice. If I can live even one day with an ounce of your discernment, it is better than that which I could have hoped for.

Lastly, I leave you with the beauty of Julius' words for my birthday: "To age is human...to not show it, absolutely divine."

I'll wear 25 like a glove, 50 like a dress and 75 like a fur :)