iPod tastic!

Sorry for the long siesta kiddies. I've been thankfully away from the ol' computer, and I've gotta say, I really enjoyed it. I hope Santa brought all of you what you wanted. World peace is still on my list, and I'm hoping the birthday fairy will make it all good next month.

As for Ally - I've been a really good girl this year. So good, that Grandma - aka Great Grandma Donaldson (GGD for short) hooked me up with a new video iPod to replace my broken one. I officially love all things Apple. They could crap in a box and I'd probably want it because it'd be the sleek new model with a cute commercial. Damn marketing geniuses.

Here's are a few playlists that I'm rather proud of right now - check it.

Minneapolis

Autumn Sweater- Yo La Tengo - Album: I Can Hear the Heart Beating As One
Pig - Dave Matthews Band - Album: Before These Crowded Streets
Snowed Under - Keane - Album: Somewhere Only We Know - EP
Lullaby - Earlimart - Album: Good Music for UNICEF Tsunami Relief
Cosmic Dancer (LP Version) - T. Rex -Album: Electric Warrior
Barnowl- Caribou - Album: Good Music for UNICEF Tsunami Relief
Between the Bars -Madeleine Peyroux - Album: Careless Love
Blessed To Be A Witness- Ben Harper - Album: Diamonds On The Inside
Somedays - Regina Spektor - Album: Soviet Kitsch
Grazed Knees - Snow Patrol - Album: Final Straw
Line of Best Fit - Death Cab For Cutie - Album:You Can Play These Songs With Chords
A Winner Needs a Wand - Sufjan Stevens - Album: A Sun Came
Til Kingdom Come - Coldplay - Album: X&Y

Vulnerability

The Good That Won't Come Out - Rilo Kiley - Album:The Execution of All Thing
Here's Where the Story Ends - The Sundays - Album: Reading, Writing & Arithmetic
Lover, You Should've Come Over - Jeff Buckley - Album: Grace (Legacy Edition)
Upward Over the Mountain - Iron & Wine - Album: The Creek Drank the Cradle
Not to Blame - Joni Mitchell - Album: Turbulent Indigo
Small Hours - John Martyn - Album: Sweet Little Mysteries: The Island Anthology
When She Believes - Ben Harper - Album: Diamonds On the Inside
Perfect Day - Lou Reed - Album: NYC Man
Chocolate - Snow Patrol - Album: Final Straw
I Wanna Be Adored - The Stone Roses - Album: The Complete Stone Roses
Wild Horses - Michelle Malone - Album: Lucky to Be Live - EP
Last Chance Lost - Joni Mitchell Album: Turbulent Indigo
Unplayed Piano (Chris Lord-Alge Mix) - Damien Rice & Lisa Hannigan - Album: Unplayed Piano (Bonus Video Version)
At My Window - Townes Van Zandt - Album: Be Here to Love Me - A Film About Townes Van Zandt
Long Ride Home - Patty Griffin - Album: 1000 Kisses
Walnut Tree - Keane - Album: Somewhere Only We Know - EP

Hope you check some of the above tracks out. Great for a mellow day or a pensive night.

Have a wonderful and blessed New Year! Even though it'll bug the heck out of Mattie, I'll see you all in '06!

Serendipity

I've always believed in saints, angels, saviors, all things seen and unseen that get us places that we can't go alone...seemingly without any effort at all.

Some people call this serendipity, luck or hard work. Truly, it's all of these, but missing its soul. God is behind these great mysteries. I've never been so sure about anything in my life.

Have you ever had a prayer that was answered in an incredible way? I'd put money on that being the Lord interceding. We're all capable of seeing the threads when we're in a particularly pondering mood, or when our heart is open enough to receive it.

I think the only thing more important than recognizing these divine moments and learning from them is sharing them with the people in your life. Everyone needs a little hope. A little Christmas spirit. A little belief that this world isn't completely in our control - or else the world is completely screwed. We have no idea what we want, and if all my prayers were answered, I'd be married to a guy named Jubal who cheated on me when I was 18. I'm pretty glad that God knows what's best for me.

Last night, the most divine, redeeming, validating, loving, beautiful thing happened to me. My own personal angel, Cassandra Newlin, blessed me like I've never been before in my life.

The picture above is from the entrance to Kibera, one of Nairobi's biggest slums. She gave me that picture, a generous hoilday gift to be used towards this trip, and one helluva amazing card. But really, what she gave me was BELIEF. I believe in myself, but her gift showed that others do to...including many of you who read this.

Everyone - thank you. But for the grace of God go I, and you are all supporting this. The impact of that belief and faith in me is not lost, and I treasure it deeply. My luck is serendipitous and the gift of one amazing calling that the Lord is blessing hand over fist with gestures like Cassandra's.

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly...who knows great enthusiasm, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with thsoe cold and timid souls who have never known neither victory nor defeat." - Teddy Roosevelt

- Have a blessed holiday. I love you all GREATLY.

emmanuel

Soft cool snow outside -
reggae sunning itself indoors.
"I just want to lose it..." the piano crescendos,
reaching through,
completing this perfect Saturday ponderance.

SO lucky.
So. Blessed to have this moment.
So loved. by a true friend and by
myself.

I like who I've become.
A girl who drinks too much....coffee
and loves
music
with an insatiable ferocity.

I see a life
through God's eyes -
a happiness
full of appreciation for this very moment
and where I am.

-12.17.05

The word for today is...

Striking. The literal definition reads "attracting attention or notice through unusual or conspicuous qualities."

I've spent a lot of time in the last few months learning the value of solitude and alone time. This is a discipline that is decidedly foreign to my busy, passionate life. But, as I've quieted my mind I've created a heart and mind that are willing to be struck. In quietness, I've filled my journal and some of the most beautiful realizations have poured out. Revelations like the sky opening, sometimes slow and soft, sometimes like a lightning bolt tearing through heaven, knocking me to the ground.

I had one of those striking thunderstorm moments today.

To appreciate the revelation, you've got to understand the underpinnings. Last night, I had one of my all-time, top 10 favorite dinners ever with Sarah, Julius and Elizabeth. Not only was I treated like royalty at a Kenyan feast, but my soul was fed too. After I left, I slept more soundly than I have in a long, long time...wrapped in a blanket of complete connectedness I knew existed, but am now living in.

Before I left dinner, E gave me two books about Mother Teresa to revel in. Over lunch today, I withdrew into an hour of blessedly deliberate alone time. Over the best shrimp sushi, miso soup and honey ginger tea I slowly peered into Living in Love. Page by page, Mother Teresa's own words struck me unusually and conspicuously over and over and over again.

Truths like this: "If He wants something to be done, He will give us the means."
Wisdom here: "Prayer begets faith, faith begets love, and love begets service."
On the value of alone time: "In the silence of the heart, God speaks and you have to listen. Then in the fullness of your heart, because it is full of love, full of compassion, full of faith, your mouth will speak."

Wow. Lighting in my hearts inner-most chambers.

Before Christmas I sang a beautiful song at Jacobs Well. The chorus stung me: "You have names for all your stars. You heal my wounds and kiss my stars. You sing a million songs over me."

Lighting from a chorus in front of and around me.

I am struck by little lightning moments like these all the time. When I'm diligent enough to grab a pen and take a few minutes, I capture them in my fabulous orange journal. As I rifle back through its pages, I see the threads that this online journal is committed to recognizing. What I'm struck by today is the complexity of their weavings. My life has prepared me for this moment. This very one as I sit here typing right now. Every moment has been deliberate on God's part and I'm struck by that too.

in·spire

in-'spIr: verb
to influence, move, or guide by divine or supernatural

Lots of things inspire us. Fear, love, compassion, duty...the list is endless and changes often. A person's inspiration says a great deal about the quality of their character and is in fact, pretty telling about who they are.

Some of y'all know me, some don't, so here's a few things that are inspiring me now:

• Music. As usual, I'm obsessed with a few people, and today, both that are suprisingly old school. First: Ani DiFranco. This woman's music is pretty freaking rockstar. I caught her show last winter and she's nowhere near as angry as she used to be, but her newest album is still HOT. Second: Death Cab for Cutie. Positively my favorite band ever, and I'm going to check them out this Friday. So excited!
• Friends. To the Africa crew out there - E, Cass, Kelli, Sarah and Julius - you're the ones who are listening to all my opining and questioning. You guys are my support system. You are the first part of the thread, the ones that shaped this spiderweb.
• Family. I am relieved and blessed that my parents understand me. My Mom gave me this big heart that I have, and my Dad contributed the adventurous gleam in my eyes that makes me think of crazy stuff. What a cool combo to have as mentors.
• Words. The power of knowledge is insane. Psalm 40 recently knocked me on my ass, and so did Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. Check 'em out.
• Beauty. I think about beauty a lot. What is it? What ISN'T it? Today it's operatic word-play creativity, and the mingling of friends for a Ladies Night Dinner Party at Alicia's.

What inspires you today? Tomorrow? In 10 years?

A new beginning

So...I've officially entered the blogosphere. I've got to confess, I feel like I'm buying an iPod 3 years after everyone else already has one (for the record, I was an early adopter there). I hesitated to start one for so long because I didn't want to be another girl on her soapbox, spouting diatribes into the growing online forum. Also, the thought of putting all my crap out there for people to comment on seemed sort of like an online version of the Real World. Side note: Mom and Dad...I'm really good, no matter what anyone says. I promise :)

But as usual, I digress. The purpose of Follow The String is Upendo (Swahili for Love). This is a place to share with all of you something amazing that's recently begun happening in my life. As I began to trust God's guiding hand this last year (read: taking action when He directed me to), I got a new job that is AMAZING, found I had gifts that could help others, and the truest love there is made my heart burst. I am loved so much by my family, my friends and my God that I've utterly changed because of it.

For the first time ever, my heart is so overflowing with pure love, I can do nothing but let it spill over and heal others. I'm already tyring to do this in Kansas City, but the opportunity of a lifetime is in front of me (or across the world) in Nairobi, Kenya. July 14-29, I'm going with Soulfari Kenya to work in two different orphanages there, cradling and playing with beautiful creatures like these (from last year's trip - thanks for the photos, Tim)!

Sarah and Julius Were are an amazing couple that lead this trip, and they're passionate about this beautiful culture and helping Kenyans succeed. The journey isn't going to be easy, and I'll need all the help I can get from friends and family - prayers and school supplies down the road, and most importantly, support for my kickass spring fundraiser...details to come.

In the next six months, I'll journal here, filling you in about the group's needs and posting pictures when I'm gone. It is important to me that you're all a part of this journey. It is through your love and community that I've become the woman that I am...know that you're all on this path with me, in some way or another.

Badaye (later)!