The church
I've stolen away some time this evening to be by myself and reflect on a situation that's yielding some tough questioning, doubt and hurt.
Mr. Man and I find ourselves at odds with our church over our living situation and whether that will limit our ability to serve as members in volunteer positions. Of course it's much murkier than that, but that's the jist.
To start - I'm going to try really hard not to bag on the people, though we disagree. It's been a beautiful place and this hiccup is just making me a little confused. Though they've been better than other churches we've encountered, that we were approached at all is causing us to reassess. After my 3 years there (and his 7+), do we feel like it's still our home?
The point that is puzzling my puzzler tonight is about how much authority the church should be granted. Most of you know that I'm inclined to ceede very little, thank you very much, to people I don't personally choose. But is this reality? Is my membership in any large organization part and parcel with some sort of "right" to tell me what's what? This gets even murkier when the Bible gets involved and all sorts of scripture about pastoral authority gets bandied about.
I'm proud of us for sticking in the muck and sorting through it without just huffing off mad. Stuff that stings this much and feels invasive has the tendency to grow and change us - though the process can be awful. It's my hope that God will keep doing what He's always done and lead me into something that is relevant and speaks to my life now. He's been all about moving me forward and healing me, and no frustration or hurt from other people will dispell that truth.
So to be clear - I'm not having a crisis of doubt about Him. It's about how I learn and follow Him.
One thing I'm tossing out there - and will honestly welcome the dialogue about - is the role of leadership or servants in a church and what standards can be expected of them. I'm of the opinion that unless you are exhibiting destructive behavior that affects others, there's really nothing that should stop you from being a full member. Maybe this belief will lead me towards another community of more open-minded believers (I've been looking at the United Church of Christ), or maybe it will lead me to the conclusion that church can be seperate from your own community (and mine is FULL of open-minded believers).
So that's the rub this fine Sunday night. I've gone from being pissed to humble, back to pissed and am settling on something close to adult reflection. More to come...
posted by Ally @ 8:27 PM
5 Comments:
I had something relevant to add earlier in the evening...prior to beers and Monday night football. I'll think of it tomorrow.
Sorry to hear this is an issue for you.
Wait. I think the germ of the idea was that the church must adapt to it's environment/times. It always has. Though sometimes begrudgingly. But in this case, why would God turn his/her back on a loving caring couple when there are SO many folks who have joined together in his/her name that are such horrific examples of what Jesus preached. Whereas you and "your man" are just the opposite from what I can see.
This runs completely counter to the argument that I make that a good person like me should find a happy place after I kick off, despite my indifference (at best) to the teachings of the bible, etc....or wait, maybe it's in agreement. Too many beers.
: )
Anyway. Follow your inner voice and God's will Ally. You'll end up where you need to be.
B
B - thanks for weighing in. I'm glad we've got couples like you and D in our corner. Hope you eat lots of turkey and enjoy the holiday.
Here's my take from a much different direction:
Over the last year, things have been tough at my church (without a pastor, loss of staff, etc.). In that time, we've had a number of have jumped ship for whatever reason, some who have said, quote, "it's just too hard--we hope to come back when things are better".
To that, I say, "this shows me how much this place meant to begin with".
So, here's my take: community and belonging runs both directions; we give in the church, and the church as a community called to God in Christ, calls us. That calling affects the church and it affects us; there can be no other way. Otherwise, the church stands as a dictator, or the people stand as pure consumers, each just getting out of it what they want.
But if the church is truly a new thing of God, then there are claims on us in both direction which go beyond our comfort. This is church as church, I think: the refining of us, together, and the rejection of the notion that freedom and authority are polar opposites. I think it's in the being directed by the Spirit that we find freedom (i.e. who we truly are), and this direction leads us in the direction of Christ's body, the church.
That's just my take: authority and freedom aren't opposites, but go hand in hand.
that second paragraph should read, "how little this place meant to begin with". In other words, if the church is something we take on or put off at will, it's not something we're that committed to.
One more--I hope this didn't come across as me saying you didn't care about your church. I was thinking more about the folks that left our church b/c things got hard. there's all kinds of reasons why people move churches that can't be held in one little box.
blessings on the discernment, though. what i wanted to get across is that too often we (all) commit ourselves to the church so long as it's good, and the temptation is to view church as something which has no claims on us in return.
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