Discipleship

As of late, I’ve been thinking about what it means to be a disciple. Strangely (or serendipitously), last night at church my pastor parked on this topic for awhile.

What got me all fired up was a recent statement that Tim outlined that he said Dallas Willard had made. He said something like this: the problem in America is that churches are filled with Christians, but not with disciples.

At that moment, I started drinking from the fire hose. Those words echoed the longing I’ve been feeling in my heart. In the ramp-up to Kenya and in the ensuing assessment and compartmentalization of what I saw, I've been tracking through some sort of “higher spirituality” with God. The relationship has been markedly more intense and self-scrutinizing. It has started to mirror what I believe the life of a disciple looks like.

For many years I was just a Christian - and not even a decent one at that. I was just someone who got “saved” when I was 16 then promptly bought into the self-fulfilling prophesy of the Evangelical church. It wasn't entirely my fault, but it wasn’t entirely the churches either. It felt good to be was “right,” “guaranteed” and “redeemed.” The result left me with a spirtituality that was entirely about eliminating bad habits and cultivating new and improved ones (for only $29.95 and a lot of "turning from sin").

Until recently, I’d treated my sanctification as something akin to a get out of jail free card. Christ expected me to do different things, not be them. For instance, take the common Christian instruction: drinking = bad. But do you really know why? Do we really know that wrestling with God until you understand why being drunk all the time isn’t a healthy thing because it gets in the way of being transformed? Doesn't it seem so much easier to take and be transformed if we study it, rather than regurgitate or will it?

I guess what I’m understanding now (and trying to get to here) is that I’d rather be a disciple of Christ’s than of myself, my will or my organized religion.

A disciple is literally defined as “one who embraces and assists in spreading the teachings of another.” After reading that, I think that the definition of a disciple, especially with regards to Christ, is in need of expanding.

What does a life look like that has truly embraced something? Does it attack, despise and assert its supremacy to those that don’t understand the object of its affection? Of course not. In most instances, the object or person embraced becomes a part of the person who feels affection towards it. Something new and life-giving pours out. The person embracing something takes on a part of the character of the thing it embraces.

So, if I embrace the practice of yoga, I’d study it. I’d pick up books. I’d study with a master. I’d take on the life of its practice and talk with others about it. If I got good enough, it would becomes something so natural to me, it’d be like breathing.

Ok, longwinded Ally, how is this different than the single biggest practice of a Christian’s life – the embrace of our Lord?

It's not inherently different, it's just that we struggle with how to embrace the practice of discipleship because there’s no way that we can be ever become an expert. We cannot become the very thing that we admire and embrace. At least we cannot with our own will. With the spirit’s intercession and God’s divine will and strength, we can become more Christ-like, but we can never become Christ. It’s simply not possible, nor is it our purpose.

Once we realize that we cannot become God, I think it makes it a lot easier to be his disciples. There is grace and freedom in that truth. There is an understanding that all I can do is try. All I can do is run into the marvelousness of Him; try to model His behavior; pray that it becomes as natural to me as breathing. This way, it is something that I have “become” not something I've “done.”

So, as I opined with my good friend Julius last night, how do we go about being disciples?

I’m sure that this answer is as different for each person as our hair color or personality. I believe that the way I can best be a disciple and embrace Christ is to allow my natural instincts to come through. To me, it’s not about becoming something entirely different. It starts with cultivating the good things that he has already laid out and cultivated in our own personality's and desires.

For me it looks like this:

I can love.
I can be intentional with my actions.
I can let him live THROUGH me, not just IN me.
I can run with the impulses that I have that are good and right and pleasing to God.
I can stop waiting for tomorrow to help someone.
I can apologize today.
I can just do IT – whatever IT is that’s in my heart.

I guess what I mean is that I think the best way to be a disciple is to just be a disciple. Go ahead. Read it again.

It’s like the running analogy I used a few weeks ago, only flipped. How do you become a runner? Just run. How to do you become a disciple? You follow the master. You learn about the things that you embrace as you go along. You build up strength and get better at it. You pick up that book and you talk to Him and you talk to others about Him.

We can do nothing to speed up this process, but I just believe that God faithfully meets us in the middle and picks up the part we can’t tackle. So, that’s what I’m trying to do now. I know I’ve been doing it for awhile, but the recognition is lovely and life-giving and simple and freeing.

It is this: I, Allyson Marie Moore, am a disciple of Christ.

Beautiful.