A new psalm

Don’t teach me how to live like a free man,
just give me a new law.
Don’t want to know if the answers aren’t easy.
Just bring it down from the mountain to me.

A New Law – Derek Webb – Mockingbird

*****
I’m working on being ok with the hard stuff,
I promise I am.

And though I don't deserve it
when I have such teeny-tiny faith
(not even a mustard seed or an atom in size),
you still give me little glimpses
of what's to come to tide me over.

They're like sunshine licking my chilly skin.
Your warmth reminds me that I've been here before.
You've covered over me and kept me warm
and gave me a thousand times my portion
just because it pleased you.

I'll keep repeating “I trust you”
until my mind catches up with my heart.
It's dangerously slow to listen,
overlyexcruciatinglyfrustratingly
crowded with anxious thoughts,
but I hear your voice when the quiet comes.
I feel you coarse through my veins when I am still.

It is good that you do not come down from the mountain
when we ask, but when it pleases you.