In God's Time

As I started writing this, I realized how insanely long this entry was. I’ll post this in a few installments over the next few days. Part one is below. -a

I’m not even going to make you all wait for the end. I’ve never been good at keeping things hidden.

I’m going to Kenya. It’s official.

Can we all just say it together? Ally. IS. GOING. TO. KENYA!!!!!!!!!!!

The final funds are all in my savings account and it’s all I can do to keep from weeping ecstatically or dancing a freaking jig down the street.

To say that I’m grateful for everyone’s help would be an understatement. This Herculean effort to help me fulfill a mission has been the effort of a village of friends, family and strangers and one amazingly talented Lord. I’m so overwhelmed with gratitude that I wish I could make up new words to convey the depths of my emotion.

So I will. I’m superespecridcutasticlyhappy. (I have no idea how to pronounce that.)

I want to thank you all by showing you the last 8 months through my pen’s ink. These are little stepping-stones of thought, timing and gratitude from my journals.

10.28.05 - “A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.” English proverb
Looking back, this was just slightly indicative of what would be to come.

11.30.05 – His guidance is my breath, my validation, my heart’s band-aid forever. That truth rests so solidly in my heart. I don’t even question it.
I wrote this in a journal about a lot of other stuff while I sat on our sun porch watching the snowfall while I was at home. I’ve just heard from E that Sarah & Julius are leading a trip to Kenya. I’ve been thinking about going ever since E went last summer. I even mentioned it in my job interview at the Lyric. I mention it in passing to my Mom. She’s less than pleased.

12.4.05 – Today I was going to sit on my couch, but with one question from Julius and steadfast encouragement from E Sue, you set this burning in my heart. In my stubbornness, do not let my mind eat away at my resolve, but instead fill me with strength and courage of purpose.
This was the day I went to church and decided after a fundraising brainstorm, and a certain feeling in my heart, that I was going to Kenya.

12.13.05 - As I prayed, I pictured Christ knocking on my door and coming in for tea, like a friend. I came face to face with him. I feel validated, loved, on the right path. He told me that going to Africa was good and I needed to trust him and stop worrying.
At this point, my prayer life was really visual, and I had this feeling of absolute certainty from God that I was going. I remember this like it was yesterday. It was like absolute peace.

12.16.05 – “If he wants something to be done, He will give us the means.” “When you know how much God is in love with you, then you can only live your life radiating that love.” Mother Teresa
I later revisited these verses I had captured while reading over lunch one day. On 3.27.06 I added above them. “The success of the Upendo party.”

12.19.05 – Emmanuel – God is with us.
I’d never heard the meaning of this word until one sermon at Jacob’s Well. As I headed home for Christmas (and to a struggle with my family about this decision) this word circled through my head.

12.22.05 – I’m finally getting that you’ll make this happen. You are beautiful, you are beautiful, you are beautiful to me. Today was a wonderfully beautiful supercalafragalistic wonderous-tastic day. Thank you for believing in me.
In a Christmas card from Cassandra, I received my first donation for Kenya, an inspirational quote and a photograph of Kibera, a slum in Nairobi. I have never felt so good before. I knew that God would take care of this. I was supposed to go.

12.31.05 - “No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame.” Psalm 25:3
No one has ever loved me, like the way you’ve loved me, Oh Lord, wrap your arms around me. – Waterdeep
I remember making coffee and laying on my couch this morning, listening to Waterdeep, an amazing band. This lyric and verse caught my attention, and show where my head was at. I am so in love with God in this moment, and trust him implicitly.

1.5.06 - “The spirit intercedes with groans that can’t express when we’re without knowing what to pray for…based on Romans 8:26.
I’m listening to a Rob Bell sermon called “Praying with an Ache.” I’m beat up. This road seems way too long, and I have no idea how to trust that God will help me save or raise almost $4,000. This won’t happen, and I don’t even know how to pray for it.

1.10.06 - “A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother. Ill gotten treasures are of no value, but righteousness delivers from death.” Proverbs 10:1-2
My parents are so concerned and don’t want me to go. To say that my Mom and I are fighting is an understatement. She’s brokenhearted and angry and hurt and I’m wondering if I’m doing the right thing. Am I just being stubborn in wanting to go and help in Africa? Am I just going to prove that I can? I ask God to show me the truth, and if it is his will, I won't go on.

*Somewhere around here I tell some new friends from The Bohemians that I’m going to Kenya…they’re incredibly supportive and love the idea of a party.

1.16.06 - My 25th birthday. How incredible. I feel so lucky. So incredibly blessed…My gift to the Lord as I reap the joy of this day is my life as a sacrifice. I want my desire and will to so closely align with yours that there can be no separating the two.
This birthday is hands down the best ever. All my friends are supportive and lots of people donate or spend time supporting me emotionally here. Wow. I can’t believe so many people believe in me.

1.17.06 - Thank you for big miracles. When I let you in to be God, you never disappoint. I open the door again. Come in – do something amazing.
The day after my birthday, I went to Loose Park and made a list of the things I was grateful for. It was 65 degrees outside and I had Jimmy Johns in hand. I think I saw what heaven will be like that day. This little gem of a thought was #22. I had a lot of stuff going really, really, really well.

That’s enough of a journey for tonight. I’m pulling this tour bus over, parking by the side of a dirt road and taking a nap. As I doze off, I realize that if I’ve ever been certain about God’s providence and timeliness, it’s watching this process unfold as dig through time’s remnants.

More revelation to be continued tomorrow…