Bllllaaaaahhhh....

Ahh...the ability to think coherently is returning, kiddies. After one of the busiest weeks in a long time, I'm set to hand in the program for my next opera tomorrow, and I will do this...Le sigh. Until then, I'll be attempting to return to well-ordered thought here. My apologies for the randomness, but it IS my blog, and I'll spew if I want too.

A few thoughts have been pinballing off the corners of my mind, and in an effort to shut them the hell up, the blog gets them tonight.

1. God is great. Just great, great, great. (This isn't something I need to shut up...rather something I need to shout more often.)
2. Too often I don't TRUST God to provide. I'm working on this. I have, however, learned to recognize his provision once it's come.
3. If I didn't have music, I'd probably die. Literally die. Air would cease to fill these lungs. I don't care if it sounds dramatic. Inevitable death would be especially quick if I didn't have any Common for the lovely days, Neko Case for late nights, Ani DiFranco for needed fits of righteous feminine indignation, Death Cab for Cutie for the past, Allison Kraus for the future, or Waterdeep for my soul.
4. I am not a very patient person. If I look like I've got my sh*t together, I'm fooling you very well, thank you.
5. It's tiring always wanting to be at the end of the process.
6. I have no clue how to be ok with that.
7. Kiswahili is one hard language to learn...but come hell or highwater, I will step foot in Nairobi and know how to communicate in this beautiful language.
8. Nothing is impossible when God is behind it. He will redeem everything, ordain it all, and put me back together too...even the things above that I'm learning.
9. Breathing slowly is a discipline.
10. When I don't get things, God uses repetition (see 1. below.)

Ahhh...pausing to revel in the selah. It's so good to get the crap off. I'm shaking all my limbs to increase blood flow right now. Shaking my head side to side to knock out some of the dust. Just wait until I post tomorrow. My game face will be on. (Insert - "grrr" and "take that" and "I'm back" and other equally intimidating phrases accompanied by a very vicious-looking Ally - HERE.)

Continuing on...a few quotes/verses that made have made it to the small little corners of my second mind - my moleskin journal with the pocket guaranteed to hold the secrets of the universe.

1. From my lovely well... 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you.." Jeremiah 29: 10-14
2. From a woman's diary as chronicled in Calm my Anxious Heart...
- Never allow yourself to complain about anything - not even the weather.
- Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
- Never compare your lot with anothers.
- Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
- Never dwell on tomorrow - remember that tomorrow is God's not ours.
3. Drinking deeply again..."God...is the blessed controller of all things, the king over all kings and the master of all masters." 1 Timothy 6:15

I'll conclude this circus of lists with a few genuinely emphatic pleas to God. I haven't talked to a lot of you in awhile, but I love you all firecely. I pray you'll have a great day tomorrow. Be blessed, sow love, and reap it in all your little corners of the world.

Tonight's soundtrack for all the insomniacs:
Blacklisted - Neko Case. *Especially the track "Things that Scare Me"

Tomorrow's soundtrack for the mid-week dreamers:
Darn that Dream - Dinah Washington