Living from your heart

Today I listened to an old sermon of Rob Bell's, entitled "Finding Your Heart and Living From It." As someone who knows very viscerally where her heart is located and how to live by its beating, you'd think this would be second nature, but I know that living from your heart's impulses isn't easy.

Something this deliciously simple got me thinking - living from your heart feels a little like bleeding out all over the place. People rush to stop the blood letting, not because they're worried you'll die, but because they can't bear to see something so red, so alive. It reminds them of the lifeforce that coarses through their own veins...often a long-time forgotten, passion untapped.

The thing is, when blood remains, it must stagnate, thicken, harden. It would make it harder for good, new, healthy things to push through. Surely that feels worse than feeling weak.

My life's progress and blessing is largely due to the fact that I'm innately wired to put everything out there, to live from my heart.

I know it can be a curse, you can be hurt, and people never seem to tire of pointing that out. The thing is, most of these critics are people who have never dared to remove their own bandages, opening their wounds, letting the bad blood leave, and inviting air to rush in and heal the cut correctly.

I have a lot of wounds. Some of them have been well-hidden, and were only recently discovered. No matter how awkward, I refuse to walk out my life with my hands held over the wounds. Instead, I'll embrace what my wise friend Julius recently pointed out - that this season of my life is largely about healing.

I want to be fixed. To be healed of the pain of not living my life right. To be unafraid of the stares of others when I live from my heart, even though it looks strange.

It feels good, refreshing, even natural for me to live this way. With God's courage, I'm not afraid to look stupid, and let it go. All the bandages are off, I'm living from my heart, and wearing my journey on my sleeve, in my blog, and in the shine of my smile

Today's Soundtrack: The Good That Won't Come Out - Rilo Kiley - The Execution of All Things